When I got sober in 2013 I was surprised to find out it wasn’t the drugs and alcohol that made me crazy, although they certainly exacerbated things, but underneath all the substances and men and drama, I was already crazy. This came as quite a shock to me. One that nearly undid my attempt to remain sober in those horrifying days and weeks and months that make up early sobriety. For some reason I had the mistaken impression that I’d stop drinking and drugs and smoking weed every day and my problems would be solved. All the obstacles standing in my way would magically evaporate. The sea of life would part before me once I’d freed myself from the shackles of addiction.
It turns out alcohol and drugs were merely a symptom of my crazy trying to express itself. What I’ve come to learn in the seven plus years since my last drink, is that I have a certain amount of psycho that needs to express itself every single day.
My “psycho” can take many forms but its essence is creative energy. And as I’ve said hundreds of times before, if I’m not using that creative energy judiciously, it can become self-destructive (or outwardly destructive) pretty quickly. What has been wild to observe in sobriety are the insidious ways I can still self-destruct. My addictive tendencies are like whack-a-mole. I started smoking cigarettes in year three of sobriety only to quit them in disgust six months later. Twitter is a great example of a crack-like time-suck that leaves me feeling empty. There was a period of time where I was eating sheet cake for breakfast.
My daily goal is to productively express as much psycho as I can, lest I be left with a surplus that needs expression tomorrow. A surplus of psycho is a hard thing to manage. It’s like having a light saber and having no idea how to use it.
So much of what I’m seeing in society right now, particularly with the younger generations, is a surplus of psycho. There is a lot of restless, scattered, pent-up energy coming out of the pandemic year heading into the summer and it reminds me so much of early sobriety. All the momentum that got crushed. All those dreams that were abandoned or put on hold. All the energy that we channeled into cleaning our homes, tackling projects, making TikToks, baking bread or just fighting with people online. All of it is rushing forth, demanding expression.
Your creative force has to go somewhere. It’s energy that can’t be destroyed. If you misuse that energy it can destroy you or the world around you. Instead, use that energy to dance, to sing, to workout, to write that book you’ve been wanting to write, to coach your kid’s baseball team, to volunteer and face the wreckage of our cities. Use it to create. To build. Don’t waste that surplus of psycho on drama, fueling neuroses or addictions. It’s a rocket booster that with just a little bit of focus and discipline can propel you to even greater heights—or at the very least, to getting out of your own damn way.
All of my love,
Bridget
It was fun catching up with my old friend in comedy and sister in pregnancy, Jessica. Enjoy!
It was such a pleasure talking to Sally Satel about the opioid crisis, addiction, recovery, how it's a miracle anyone ever gets sober, the ramifications of political correctness in medicine and so much more. #WalkInsWelcome
Spoke to The Lost Debate team (Cory Bradford, Ravi Gupta & Rikki Schlott) about their mission behind the podcast and the intention to create a space and media company that brings different people together to have conversations. #WalkInsWelcome
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5EO31L
Hey Pham,
Some of you have been asking if we have a list of our promo codes for all the Dumpster Fire & Walk-Ins Welcome sponsors. We made a list and you can find it here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/11ErjcLnuDxjb4FibbeY3yh97UOUyfeqr5xz6zKV57mw/edit?usp=sharing
We'll do our best to keep it updated.
Hello new followers, I hope I don’t disappoint you. I want this place to feel like home, where we can escape the Thunderdome and process the world. Where we can post dog pics and recipes and book recommendations. Where we support each other as we get sober, lose weight, embark on new business opportunities, creative endeavors, relationships and travels. I want this to be your oasis of sanity and laughter in an increasingly mad world. A creative outlet where you can share your spirit with us.
We might not have any control over the news cycle—but we can control our habits and attitude. It all starts with us. And hopefully a little piece of that will start here.