“The work will teach you how to do it.” - Estonian Proverb
I ended last week’s newsletter with Carpe Diem. This week I’ll open by saying Start Today. Your diet. Your meditation practice. That project you’ve been putting off, whether it’s organizing your paperwork or doing your taxes or a book. Rip the band-aid off and just begin. Spring is upon us—have you always wanted to plant a garden? Plant something. Anything. Do it. Don’t wait for permission. And definitely don’t wait until you ‘have time.’ This is one of the great lies we tell ourselves. We never have time. We have to make time. We have to take it.
Back in 2006 when I first started Phetasy 1.0 and took off on the road to sell my t-shirts and greeting cards, the banner of my beloved website said: AT LEAST DO SOMETHING. In many ways, this was Phetasy’s first slogan. It has also been a lesson I’ve had to learn over and over and over again. Something is better than nothing. This isn’t intuitive for an addict prone to black-and-white thinking and an all-or-nothing mentality. Incremental progress and baby steps lead to big gains over time. But I want to plant the whole damn garden and enjoy the harvest in the span of one season. It never occurs to me to just learn how to grow tomatoes this year. Or better yet, just plant some herbs. In my mind I envision an entire garden filled with corn and kale and root veggies. Different squashes and green beans and berries. Where do I put the kale in relation to the corn? How do I lay it out so all the different fruits and veggies are getting what they need? The basket of veggies I’m carrying back to my farmhouse (I don’t have a farmhouse, either, for the record) is as clear in my mind as the dog currently snoring on my couch. I’ll start thinking about all the things I need to get and learn—and it’s only a matter of time before I’ll be saying, “Forget it, it’s too big of a project.” And quit before I even start.
It’s easy to psych ourselves out of any kind of endeavor that feels overwhelming when you consider the scope of it. Weight loss is another one of these mountains that seem impossible to climb—because it’s not about just losing the weight—it’s about an entire lifestyle change. These types of systemic changes to our lives—sobriety, dietary, social media addiction for example—are even more daunting because the gains aren’t obvious at first and sometimes for a long time after you start making the changes. This is why the genius of “one day at a time” works for an addict like me who wants it all tomorrow. I don’t need to lose 20 pounds today. I don’t even need to lose it in two months. Today I just need to get some exercise and eat nourishing food and try to be kind to myself. If I do that consistently, I’ll start to notice a difference.
When I started working out with the women in my phetasy.com community a year ago, I was only focused on the outcome of what I wanted to look like and nothing else. But instead I’ve realized that no matter how I’m feeling, showing up for 30 minutes and sweating will always make my day better. There is a sense of sisterhood and support and community that I now look forward to when I’m logging in. Over the course of the year, the results have taken a backseat to the process. The sense of meaning and pride that comes from patience, discipline and pushing through on the days we want to give up, slack off or quit is the greatest reward of all.
Grow a tomato plant. And some basil. Keep those alive. Enjoy watching them grow. Start there. But start.
Editor's Note: This piece originally appeared in the Phetasy News Weekly newsletter. Sign up at: http://eepurl.com/hgBTdP
It was fun catching up with my old friend in comedy and sister in pregnancy, Jessica. Enjoy!
It was such a pleasure talking to Sally Satel about the opioid crisis, addiction, recovery, how it's a miracle anyone ever gets sober, the ramifications of political correctness in medicine and so much more. #WalkInsWelcome
Spoke to The Lost Debate team (Cory Bradford, Ravi Gupta & Rikki Schlott) about their mission behind the podcast and the intention to create a space and media company that brings different people together to have conversations. #WalkInsWelcome
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5EO31L
Hey Pham,
Some of you have been asking if we have a list of our promo codes for all the Dumpster Fire & Walk-Ins Welcome sponsors. We made a list and you can find it here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/11ErjcLnuDxjb4FibbeY3yh97UOUyfeqr5xz6zKV57mw/edit?usp=sharing
We'll do our best to keep it updated.
Hello new followers, I hope I don’t disappoint you. I want this place to feel like home, where we can escape the Thunderdome and process the world. Where we can post dog pics and recipes and book recommendations. Where we support each other as we get sober, lose weight, embark on new business opportunities, creative endeavors, relationships and travels. I want this to be your oasis of sanity and laughter in an increasingly mad world. A creative outlet where you can share your spirit with us.
We might not have any control over the news cycle—but we can control our habits and attitude. It all starts with us. And hopefully a little piece of that will start here.