You made it to day 7 of #SoberOctober! Pat yourself on the back, that’s a big fucking deal and a huge accomplishment. One week of consistently doing anything is challenging—so don’t minimize what a milestone this is. It’s a cause for celebration and taking a moment to reflect on what has been working for you—and take a look at some of the things standing in your way.
One of the biggest defects of character I encountered in early sobriety was self-pity. I felt like the biggest loser and every single day was a pity party—table for one. It’s an easy, comfortable place to retreat to and since I got sober and had absolutely no coping tools--I didn’t handle it well. It was me against the world.
One of the most effective antidotes to self-pity has been gratitude. A lot of lip service has been paid to gratitude in our new age self-help addicted society. Everyone from Oprah to Deepak to Tony Robbins has preached the good word of getting grateful. But it's not bullshit. When the going gets tough, I get thankful. I'd rather train my brain to look at the bright side, than focus on the negative. Cultivating a psychology of resilience is important to me. Being thankful for everything I have in the moment is a huge piece of that puzzle.
Today’s challenge is to do a gratitude mind map. Gratitude lists are great, but I started picking one thing—just one simple thing—and thinking of all the other things connected to that one thing that I l also have to be grateful for in just being thankful for that one thing. It’s really changing my relationship to everything. Don’t overthink it, just set a timer for 3-5 minutes and go.
I've attached today's just to give you an idea.
This week on #FactorySettings @justjeren and I talk about the elephant in the room. MONEY! We talk about when we first became aware of it, how it affected our parents' divorces, how much we spent on our addiction, being dependent, financial insecurity and so much more!
https://bridgetphetasy.substack.com/p/factory-settings-17#details
I continue my series with Thomas de Zengotita as we go through his book Mediated chapter by chapter. This week the topic is identity politics and we cover a lot of ground. #WalkInsWelcome
Hello new followers, I hope I don’t disappoint you. I want this place to feel like home, where we can escape the Thunderdome and process the world. Where we can post dog pics and recipes and book recommendations. Where we support each other as we get sober, lose weight, embark on new business opportunities, creative endeavors, relationships and travels. I want this to be your oasis of sanity and laughter in an increasingly mad world. A creative outlet where you can share your spirit with us.
We might not have any control over the news cycle—but we can control our habits and attitude. It all starts with us. And hopefully a little piece of that will start here.
Two times this week I had the bizarre experience of getting in touch with an old friend and sending them a picture of my daughter and having them respond with, “Who is that?” To which I responded, “She is my daughter!”
Now, let me tell you, Newport knows how to celebrate like the Irish. The parade kicks off at 11 a.m. and if you want the truly local experience, you’ll already be on your way to blacking out by the time the streets are lined with green-clad revelers ready to paint the town green (with vomit.)
Oh I’ve been here before—this isn’t even theoretical. First of all, it depends on the city but the absolute best way to get to know any city is to start walking. So if I was in a city with no money or friends, I would just start exploring. You can easily look up a walking tour of any city online if you’re someone who needs more structure and wants to take in some architecture and history.
