Sometime back in the depths of quarantine, after a couple months of bread baking, stagnancy and potentially having COVID it dawned on me that we might not be getting back to “normal” anytime soon.
My clothes weren’t fitting, I hated my body and my skin looked chalky. These are the warning signs that I’m slipping into depression and quarantine fatness. I knew I needed to take charge of my diet and my exercise before the gyms opened because if I held my breath for that to happen, I’d be 400 lbs.
It started with my biological sisters. We called it “Something is Better Than Nothing” and we would get together for zoom workouts where we would share a YouTube video and all follow along. But one by one (I have three sisters) everyone stopped joining the workouts and decided to do their own thing.
Wanting to continue the workouts—I reached out to the community we have here at Phetasy to see if anyone had any interest. In a hat tip to preparing for the apocalypse, I titled them ...
So you did it. You ripped the fucking band-aid off and made it through a day of quitting whatever it is you need to quit. Sugar. Alcohol. Weed. Cigarettes. Twitter. Now, everyone’s experience is going to be different and I can only speak to mine, but as I’ve quit at least 6 substances or behaviors in my life, I can tell you, no matter what you’re quitting or taking a break from—the process is pretty much the same just varying degrees of shitty.
Because if you were over-indulging in anything—that means you’re gonna have to go through a detox period. And detox fucking sucks. And even worse, there’s no way around it. There are things that can help—that’s what I’m here for—but unfortunately you’re probably gonna have to sit with some discomfort.
WARNING: If you were hitting the sauce really hard and you’re experience any severe withdrawal symptoms like delirium tremens i.e. seizures, confusion, or hallucinations—I urge you to seek medical help immediately with the detox. The ...
I love all the people on Twitter tone policing everyone else. No. You get to have a big belly laugh. And you know who set that tone? Our Troll-In-Chief. He mocks everything and everyone. And you absolutely can hope everyone is okay and ALSO laugh at the irony of this. It's a phetasy. A perfect phetasy.
So we made an unboxing video of all the goods we got from the Amazon wish list. I am still overwhelmed with gratitude and love for this community's generosity. I have more than I could every possibly ask for in all of you. Thank you thank you thank you. None of this is fun or possible without you.
Thank you to all the gorgeous, badass women who showed up for today's #SarahConnor workout. I woke up feeling groggy and meh and now I'm glowing and ready to take on the day. It's really motivating to see so many other people there. What a great way to start the last quarter!
I have cramps and I’m cranky but I really fucking hate these smug assholes who think they’re better than everyone.
My sister just said "I can't watch Biden. It's like watching an old man eat soup alone in a diner."
I'm crying laughing.
Okay but the funniest line of the night was "Antifa is an idea." Like ideas aren't more dangerous than organizations.
What does it tell you about our options that one candidate remaining coherent for 90 minutes causes the other candidate to become completely unhinged?
For anyone new or anyone who missed the post, here is the unedited version of #DumspterFire You can find them all in the "content" section of Phetasy.
My friend just informed me my recent JRE has almost 2 million views and that is just an insane number I can't fully get my mind around.
We're baaaaack. This week we talk woke Amish, all our leaders have dementia, Gucci has dresses for dudes, Alex Jones has llamas, Jameela Jamil is still annoying, so is John Legend, and so much more on #DumpsterFire 33: "Even The Amish Are Owning the Libs"
Well my brain wasn’t firing on all cylinders but we shook off the rust and made it through #DumpsterFire 33.
And it's fun to learn I'm from "Connecticut, Massachusetts"
I'm the kind of friend that won't remember your birthday but will drive you to chemo.
Hello Pham (and new members of the Pham) we are taking submissions for #DumpsterFire as I've been on the road and just bookmarking things. For those of you who know the show, try to think of the categories #CapitalismAlwaysWins #SprainedMyEyes #BeyondParody #TrollInChief #DumpsterFireForPresident #Commiefornia etc...
And I want this week's to be fun in light of all the constant tragedy so think weird and hilarious and what should we put in the time capsule for the aliens trying to figure out what happened to us.
Leave in the comments here please! Love you all.
This conversation was so fun, I love Colin. Please buy his book.
Someday they're going to have a diagnosis for whatever disorder I have that finds Twitter relaxing.
I wish I had done an unboxing video because you guys are hilarious. Who sent me these?????
Very hard to condense 900 emails into 900 words but these were the broad strokes.
What a crazy two weeks. Back to Mordor safely. Just catching up on all the things. I got to play Samantha again for the Babylon Bee and I'm getting all kinds of shit for making fun of journalists.
Today was one of those days where I can't believe my life is real. Grateful for all of you. Grateful for life.
New podcast is up with Felecia Killings! We talk about the fact that the black community is not a monolith, and that a lot of people in that community are politically homeless at the moment. We talk fellowship, knowing history and spiritual understanding. #WalkInsWelcome
My loves this trip has been more work than play or vacation but definitely learning a lot. Can’t wait to be back in the groove though. I forgot how much I missed clouds.
I drove 1500 miles and other than a paid billboard I didn't see a single Biden sign for almost a week.
I had the brilliant Bret Weinstein on #WalkInsWelcome to help me understand #Unity2020 He outlines his innovative and bold plan to galvanize disaffected voters, force both parties to meet in the middle and we land on an exciting slogan: FUCK THE DUOPOLY.
I've been reading through hundreds of emails from people who have written me since my column "Why I Won't Vote" came out and of the myriad of feelings I experience reading them--the primary one is humility. I'm honored people feel safe sharing their political journeys with me. I'm honored people trust me with their story in such polarized times. And I'm honored they take the time to tell me their honest truth.
Many of you here in this community do the same thing on a daily basis. It's your posts and emails and comments that keep me going on days when I wonder why I opened my big mouth and stumbled into this space.
Your presence is a gift and when I can step away from the noise, even for a day, the only feeling that remains in a profound sense of gratitude for you all and the space we've created here--where people can be safe to express themselves--something that judging from my emails--is rare in an increasingly hostile world.
Love you all.
This week on #DumpsterFire "Make Kink Shaming Great Again": Which tears are the sweetest, Lib tears or MAGA tears? Did Melania shank Ivanka after Ivanka snubbed her on the RNC stage? The Adult Baby Diaper Lover Community is a thing that exists and I can't.
The (Mostly) Unedited version of #DumpsterFire is up for subscribers and I take no responsibility for anything I said it was 100 degrees and I was delirious.
So many thoughts rattling around in my brain and not enough time to process them on the page, which is where they deserve to be processed. As the election approaches and the insanity ramps up I really want to make sure we're taking care of ourselves and each other in this community. What can I do to support you? What can we do to support each other?
Two weeks ago we had trans man Buck Angel as a guest. Last week we had Ben Shapiro. This week we have lesbian firebrand and podcaster, Katie Herzog. #WalkInsWelcome living up to its premise.
I was on the Reason podcast and it was hoot.
I was on the Spectator podcast and we had fun.
Hello my loves -- I can't do #DropInsWelcome today because my bookkeeper could only meet during that time and I need to see her. We will have one next Friday instead before I go on a much needed vacation before the shit show that is going to be America 2020.
Love you all so much!!!
Here's my latest for Spectator. It stirs up a lot of feelings and opinions in people I only ask that you disagree with one another respectfully if you get into it here.
I had B. Shap in the house for #WalkInsWelcome and it went too fast.
A lot of "MAGA!!!!" in the comments on YouTube this week and I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to trigger this particular group of snowflakes.
It's here! The Buck Angel podcast and it's so much fun. I love him.
Never thought I’d have to explain to a UPS worker why I’m crying—but there’s a first time for everything.
I’m humbled and baffled at your generosity. Thank you so much. Truly. I’m moved and speechless.
I honestly don't miss Twitter at all; being able to hang out here is really all the engagement and news tidbits I need. It's the perfect oasis.
Okay Pham, it's here. The updated Amazon wish list. Many people often ask me how they can help with just one-off donations--but honestly what I need more than money is equipment to start setting up my in-house studio and make it easier to shoot more quick video content (not just #DumpsterFire .
I'm incredibly grateful for the fact that any of you are even subscribers or consumers of my content and I feel a bit awkward even putting this here. But numerous people have asked me so here you go!
"TikTok sucks now that the old people* are on it." - my 11-year-old nephew